Real First Day

The previous post was not at all representative of a typical day at work. That first day was quite atypical of the usual nine to five. Monday did not have the 4pm quitting time nor the booze in the building.

I am nearly through my first week at work, and I cannot wait for the weekend. Tuesday was quite rough. There are very few times where I have found myself on the brink of tears in the workplace, except for the last month before leaving HSBC Auto Finance in the U.S.; my true second day at HSBC Australia nearly drove me over the edge. Amazingly that did not compel me to drown my sorrows in alcohol, mainly because I still had work to do. Don't get me wrong, people in the office are super friendly and nice. But, their knowledge and experience intimidate the hell out of me. My meager 3.5 years of experience in Auto Finance Risk basically meant nothing because they do almost everything differently over here. I guess I should've seen that coming, considering the other end of the world and such, not to mention the heavy British influence. I wanted to hit the ground running, instead I hit the ground with my face (at least that's what it felt like).

On top of everything, the homesick bug is extra virile. I find myself very reluctant to put forth my roots here. I am living out of 2.5 suitcases, ironing shirts as I go because I have only 8 hangers issued by the corporate housing. I can't even commit to a cell phone plan because I can't see myself here long term. I feel as if any second I will get fired or I will end up quitting. Homesickness coupled with feelings of under-achievement is worse now than I've ever experienced in my whole life. Time difference makes it hard to phone home for a familiar voice considering it is now 7pm and midnight in California. Gone are the initial excitement of the job offer, and each morning I just pray I make it through another day.