Asian American Aussie: Hold Thy Breath

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Hold Thy Breath

Stand back, doors are closing
Linked metal carts gain momentum
Soon, the world is whirling past

Brick houses become maroon blurs
Pink sunset on the horizon
Held steady by the distance

Hold thy breath
The moment is over
Before it's over

Forever chasing the past
Always too late for the future
Never present

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Same Difference (Things that are the same but different)

They ask, "How are you going?" instead of "How are you doing?" One time I answered, "By Bus."
Dim Sum is called Yum Cha.
Ice coffee is actually vanilla ice cream float on coffee. A root beer float is called a spider. Don't ask me why.
When the forecast says 30% chance of rain in Sydney, it actually rains, like really, like really.
Addidas is pronounced like Ad'-did-das
Nike is pronounced like Mike
Fillet is pronounced "fil-let," non-French style
General lack of toilets seat covers
Dialing 0 instead of 9 to dial out of the office
Coffee is really espresso.
"S" instead of "Z" in words like organize. They spell zebra like sebra...no I can't back that up.
Quick and nasty instead of quick and dirty
Mobile instead of cell phones
Walking AND driving on the left side
Dollars, not minutes, on phone plans
Restaurants using Kleenex as napkins

Pre-Oz Advice (Views are not representative of blogger)

You should try Fosters Beer
Sympathy points can turn into beers
Careful with the water, it can be boiling hot in the summer
Watch out for the kangaroos, they hella kick and punch
Take a picture of the toilet flushing
Make sure you try the Vegemite
Get a pet wombat
Watch out for the brown recluse and funnel web spiders
Don't forget to find out when you get to ride a kangaroo
Make sure you sign up for the mandatory boomerang training in the first week
Scan a soft copy of your prescriptions or important docs
Australian guys are whores
Pick up the accent, it'll be hot
Everything is Expensive